Happy schedule release, bestie! 👋 

It’s the 💫 magical 🌟 day when hypothetical NFL matchups become real, live, tangible games you can bet on (yes, you can seriously bet on NFL games taking place 4-6 months from now).

It also marks your official signal that it’s time to start saving up for that $489 White Claw (#teamBlackCherry, of course), soda, or water that you’re inevitably going to order should you make it to a game.

One of these days, I swear a soda will cost more than a ticket. For a team like the Commanders, it really, truly might! Anyway, let’s get to the good stuff ⬇️ 

• Top-5 can’t-miss NFL games in 2023

• The Chargers’ social media team wins again!

• Other NFL schedule release takeaways

Top 5 games you will not want to miss in 2023

5. Chiefs vs. Lions (Week 1)

When: Thursday, September 7, 8:20 p.m. ET (omg, the season opener!!)

Yes, it is the season opener, so it was obligated to be on the list somewhere. That’s not the only reason to tune in, though. This is genuinely a really, really exciting matchup between two pretty talented teams.

I’d also be remiss if I didn’t pay homage to the last time these two quarterbacks met. Remember way back in Week 11 of the 2018 season when the Rams beat the Chiefs in LA 54-51? I sure do. I think about it all the time because it was one of the greatest football games ever played. Why?

• It was the only game in NFL history where both teams scored 50+ points.

• Their combined point total (105) was the third highest in NFL history.

• Goff and Mahomes each threw for 400+ yards and 4+ touchdowns 🤯

Way-too-early “best bet”: Over 53.5 points (Did you know both of these teams ranked top-five in points scored in 2022? 👀)

4. Bills vs. Jets (Week 1)

When: Monday, September 11, 8:15 p.m. ET

No, I didn’t intentionally stack multiple Week 1 games in the top five, but it’s really difficult to leave this one out! How can we pass up Aaron Rodgers’ first appearance as a New York Jet, wearing a slightly different shade of green? That would be irresponsible.

TBD on if we see Aaron Rodgers return to MVP form, but even if we don't, we get to see Josh Allen back on the football field, which is magical enough to make me feel like all is right in the world, even if just for three hours on a Monday night.

Way-too-early “best bet”: Bills to cover the spread (-1.5) — AKA, win by two or more points. Sorry, Aaron.

3. Panthers vs. Texans (Week 8)

When: Sunday, October 29, 1 p.m. ET

Neither the NFC South nor the AFC South has much to boast this season, but this is a matchup all of us can get on board with. After all, it's our first head-to-head matchup of the No. 1 (Bryce Young) and No. 2 (C.J. Stroud) overall picks in the 2023 NFL Draft.

What's even more adorable? They're actually good friends and have been since childhood!

Is it not totally GOALS to go head-to-head against one of your childhood besties once you both realize your dreams of becoming NFL quarterbacks?

Way-too-early "best bet": Texans to win (moneyline)

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Whoops. I guess I forgot to copy and paste the rest of the top games (and my way too early predictions). I suppose you’ll have to click to find out the rest!

As usual, the Chargers won the schedule release

Time and time again, the Chargers pull through for social media. Last year, it was with their sick anime schedule release video. This year… well…

Here are some more of my favorites:

I cannot. 💀 Someone give this social media team a raise.

Once you catch your breath from laughter, feel free to rewatch their genius schedule release video from last year.

The Chargers might legitimately have the second-best social media team in the world.

Who’s got the best, you ask? Gaming Society does. Duh! That’s your not-so-subtle reminder to go follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Thank us later. ❤️ 

🏆️ Super Bowl 58 odds 🏆️ 

As of May 11, the Chiefs remain the odds-favorite to win next year’s Super Bowl at +600! That means a $100 bet on the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl wins you a cool $600 in profit.

Surprise, surprise — can you believe the team that’s won two Super Bowls in the last four years (three trips to the Big Game, mind you) is favored to win it again?!

In case you’re a rebel without a cause and like betting against Patrick Mahomes (Baby 🐐), here are some other favorites:

Eagles: +850
Bills: +900
49ers: +950
Bengals: +1000
Cowboys: +1400

Or, my personal favorite sleeper 🤗 Miami Dolphins at +2500. You heard it here first, friends!

Other takeaways from the schedule release

• The NFL HAAAATES the Giants. They’re slated for seven road games in the first 10 weeks of the season — the first time that’s happened since 1990 per Warren Sharp.

• I guess they also forgot that Aaron Rodgers was no longer playing for Green Bay? The Packers have a whopping FIVE primetime games on the schedule this year. Wheels up, Jordan Love! Here’s to hoping he’s actually good because if he’s not, we’re going to be watching a looooot of stinkers.
  

• There’s a lot that goes into the construction of the NFL schedule that you’ve probably never thought about. Albert Breer (Sports Illustrated) did a bang-up job explaining how it all comes together here.

Hope you enjoyed that as much as I did. Now for some sleep.

Until next time, friend! — XOXO, Gossip Girl

I mean, Kate. Sorry — I’m tired. ❤️ ‘Night!